not natural?

4 weeks to go! But now I'm getting rather large and ponderous. My blood pressure has also started to go up some and my feet are swelling so this makes me nervous. But so far no one is really worried and one more ultrasound on Monday so we get to see the wee babe again!

I started reading an IVF mystery - ha! betcha didn't know there was such a thing. It's called In A Family Way and I'm afraid it's going to be awful. The victim is a young child and here's a taste (not of the little child but of the prose):

"It was a strange thing to see M. in this new light. Rationally, there was no reason to view her differently because she had been made, not begotten. She'd been no less of a human being. Yet I could not shake a certain uncanny sensation. She had not sprung from the long chain that linked us to our mammal forebears. Instead, she'd been whisked up in a glass by a man who called himself the "family doctor." It made her seem separate from nature, even though I knew the notion was false." it goes on and on....

It's from 2005! Do people really still think like this?

Mammal forebears? harumph. Any guesses as to the sex of the author?

I feel very much like a mammal - and my seins spectaculaires prove it!

redefining ready

I spent the day yesterday "shopping" with my pregnant friend, she of the even more dire infertility who is due 2 months after I am. I didn't buy anything and found the stores stultifying.

Forget it. The crass materialism just blew my mind. I'm not buying anything new I swear! Most of the stuff is just hideous anyhow - way too big and bulky. I told her I was ready to road-trip to Ikea (hee, hee, we have access to Canadian Ikea, cheap, cheap) and she said no she wanted to buy the best for her baby. But none of it is going to last more than 2 years! The nature of babies is to grow out of everything! Ikea stuff is at least light and colorful.

If I lived in a more cosmopolitan place perhaps I would enjoy looking at all the STUFF but frankly spending money for the sake of spending money has never rung my bell. (Says she who just laid out the cost of a crib for a month's supply of organic, grass-fed locally raised steaks and the very best olive oil).

A complete stranger has given me practically new car seat, bathtubs, swing, vibrating chairs, baby carrier, etc. Wow! But my friend doesn't want any of it. I'm a little sad because I thought we'd bond more about the whole baby thing but we are on very different wavelengths.

So at this point I'm just going to focus on the most vital needs - input and output. Nursing bras and diapers.

So more advice requested... are there any magical, wondrous, comfy, chic nursing tops out in the world? I'd wander around the house boobi*es adangling but I do have two teenage stepsons and it might just prove too much for them! I sure as hell wouldn't have wanted to see my stepfather's equivalent when I was their age.

And thanks for the advice so far! The exciting part is not far away! I can't wait to see what our high-tech doctor's office drug-induced loving has produced.

getting ready

some random thoughts at 6 weeks to go - all advice welcome!

I find myself stuck in a kind of birthing (and eventually parenting) limbo. I grew up in a very hippie-dippy household (no sugar, no white flour, no tv), my brother and I were both born at home in pretty primitive settings but it was more chance and finance than any dogmatism on my mother's part.

I am a feminist and I only got pregnant with much high-tech intervention.

So what's a modern environmentalist feminist transplanted west to east coaster only pregnant due to weird hormones and poking and prodding to do? I haven't found any birthing classes that appeal to me - they're either entirely drug and doctor oriented or verging on earthmama nonsense. I read Bradley's book and he lost me when he suggested that it would be best for women to wander around in long skirts with no underwear. Pants = evil modern garment causing all sorts of infections. Funny, the only time I got a yeast infection was when I was wearing little underwear at all but boffing a super-hot French ski instructor.

So I eat all organic, make my own bread, have a garden and didn't own a car for many, many years. But I find vegans irrational (cars kill more animate life forms than eating bread or honey does), I don't believe my unborn baby is psychically communicating with me and I don't think animals are at all human but I do believe they should never have to suffer. I do teach yoga and have practiced it for many years and I do believe in the power of meditation, etc. I have found a very conservative (politically) old-fashioned dentist who can do pretty much all things without novocaine but he sure isn't new age. I want the birthing equivalent!

And it seems as though the choices are only just beginning! My compromise is childbirth in a nice hospital birthing center but with midwives. If I can't stand the pain I'll opt for an epidural but it would be nice to avoid the drugs just because I don't like anesthesia or how it makes me feel afterwards.

So here are some of the dilemmas I face:

- cloth diapers. I would much prefer for the baby's sake but no diaper service in this part of the world so I'd have to do it all myself. Is this at all feasible?

- co-sleeping makes total sense but it would be nice if it weren't ALL the time.

- breastfeeding is definitely what I would like to do and I have the luxury of time but I know from reading blogs that things don't always go smoothly on that front.

- when I do go back to work is there child care that is professional and nice but doesn't have tv? I don't have one and I hate how it makes kids zombies.

- do children really need organic cotton clothes?

etc. etc. etc.!!

And I still haven't really found a birthing class.