getting ready
some random thoughts at 6 weeks to go - all advice welcome!
I find myself stuck in a kind of birthing (and eventually parenting) limbo. I grew up in a very hippie-dippy household (no sugar, no white flour, no tv), my brother and I were both born at home in pretty primitive settings but it was more chance and finance than any dogmatism on my mother's part.
I am a feminist and I only got pregnant with much high-tech intervention.
So what's a modern environmentalist feminist transplanted west to east coaster only pregnant due to weird hormones and poking and prodding to do? I haven't found any birthing classes that appeal to me - they're either entirely drug and doctor oriented or verging on earthmama nonsense. I read Bradley's book and he lost me when he suggested that it would be best for women to wander around in long skirts with no underwear. Pants = evil modern garment causing all sorts of infections. Funny, the only time I got a yeast infection was when I was wearing little underwear at all but boffing a super-hot French ski instructor.
So I eat all organic, make my own bread, have a garden and didn't own a car for many, many years. But I find vegans irrational (cars kill more animate life forms than eating bread or honey does), I don't believe my unborn baby is psychically communicating with me and I don't think animals are at all human but I do believe they should never have to suffer. I do teach yoga and have practiced it for many years and I do believe in the power of meditation, etc. I have found a very conservative (politically) old-fashioned dentist who can do pretty much all things without novocaine but he sure isn't new age. I want the birthing equivalent!
And it seems as though the choices are only just beginning! My compromise is childbirth in a nice hospital birthing center but with midwives. If I can't stand the pain I'll opt for an epidural but it would be nice to avoid the drugs just because I don't like anesthesia or how it makes me feel afterwards.
So here are some of the dilemmas I face:
- cloth diapers. I would much prefer for the baby's sake but no diaper service in this part of the world so I'd have to do it all myself. Is this at all feasible?
- co-sleeping makes total sense but it would be nice if it weren't ALL the time.
- breastfeeding is definitely what I would like to do and I have the luxury of time but I know from reading blogs that things don't always go smoothly on that front.
- when I do go back to work is there child care that is professional and nice but doesn't have tv? I don't have one and I hate how it makes kids zombies.
- do children really need organic cotton clothes?
etc. etc. etc.!!
And I still haven't really found a birthing class.
posted by moi @ 11:55 AM
7 Comments:
You don't believe your unborn baby is psychically communication with you??? What kind of mother are you?
Hee hee. I'm sorry, I'm completely clueless about your questions, but it's nice to hear you sounding so much like yourself in the home stretch.
Good luck.
I on the other hand have already lost my ability to conjugate verbs. :) Sorry about that.
You know, I am asking myself a lot of the same questions. Mostly I just take it all in and then figure out what sounds best to me. I took the childbirth class offered by my doctor's practice but I've also taken some classes at the (very family-friendly) hospital where we will deliver. I have a bunch of hand-me-down baby clothes from my hairdresser, not all of which are even cotton, much less organic, and I am sure I'll use many of them. But I don't know... there are so many unanswered questions.
We are canceling our cable though. It's just so expensive, and I never watch anything on it, and my husband barely does. I hate TV too.
Anyway, I don't have answers either. But YAY! Six weeks! Good luck!
I'm monitoring your responses like a bloodhound--got to sniff out most of these answers, too!
Cloth is easy. Truly. ANd mix it up with some dispasables at night, etc. You will save a ton of money. However, you will also have to put out a fair amount of money to get startted. And ignore all the recommendations about washing them in hot water once, 2 rinse cycles, etc. If you have a washing amchine made in the last 20 years, it will handle the diapers just fine on regular warm wash cycles. And do try to dry them outside. ANY of the ten million cloth diaper companies online will help you get started by telling you what to buy. We did it off and on until E was about 18 months, the disposables until 25 months then toilet trained. Get a co-sleeper and use it. Attaches to your bed like a little sidecar. Works great. Happy baby and you happy too. ANd the birth? It will take care of itself. Find one person/midwife you trust and take their advice. Best of luck to you.
Just stumbled on this site and identified with your description of yourself, so I am daring to chime in with some assvice here...
1. I second the recommendation to get a co-sleeper. It was perfect for us--close when we wanted to be, but everyone had their own space.
2. We are cloth-diapering with a service. If I had to wash the diapers myself, I don't know whether I could handle it, but I also live in an apartment with a coin-operated laundry, so that's an added complication. We use Bummis diaper covers and have been very happy with them--no pins, very easy. We use a Seventh Generation disposable diaper at night so she will sleep through.
3. It sounds like you will have no problem with milk supply, which is what killed my attempts at breastfeeding. Get a good Lactation Consultant lined up and go for it. You might be one of the lucky ones who has no problems, or you might have some hurdles to overcome and then be fine. If not, just try your best and don't beat yourself up about it like I did.
4. I highly recommend working with a doula, if at all possible. We had a wonderful experience with ours and even when my "natural" birth experience took a wrong turn and I ended up with tubes and wires coming from every orifice, she was right there with us. Saved our marriage.
5. As ironic as this sounds, our birthing class was great, and it was given by our hospital, which I liken to County General in "E.R." You would never expect it, but they had a crunchy doula-type lady in there and and she gave great information and advice from a natural standpoint, as well as explaining everything that our high-tech hospital had to offer. When discussing the epidural, she was very balanced in terms of risks and benefits, but then made a little stick-figure drawing on the board depicting a woman with a epidural. She drew a line showing the epidural itself, another for a the catheter, another for an oxygen mask, another for the pulse-oximeter, another for the IV. She said, "This is what having an epidural really looks like. If this is your idea of a good time, then get the epidural, but if you don't think you could handle all of this, don't get it!" I had to laugh when I found myself hooked up to all of those things--I couldn't have been happier because I was literally feeling no pain. It turns out, I wasn't as much of an earth-mama as I had originally thought!
6. One more item with regard to giving birth: I would try not to get too attached to any particular path to your child. You seem to be conveying that already in the way you write about yourself (not too extreme in anything) and it served me well in this experience, as nothing seems to go as you expected or planned.
7. Organic Cotton clothes are not necessary, in my experience. Organic baby food, yes.
Good luck and sorry this is so long.
Diana
Penelope -
Just wanted to wish you a smooth final 6 weeks. Glad to hear that these are the things running through your mind. Whichever you choose, you're sure to be a great mom in your own right.
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