fruchtbarkeit

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

just in case you were wondering...

Eight weeks, one little squidgy blob in there, all is well. ONE MORE WEEK OF PIO!!! Praise the Lord - I'm damn sick of the shots.

Here are some little factoids for the curious amongst ya:

No real symptoms to speak of except gas (but hey that's just a fact of life) and a little carsick queasiness over the last few days. One person has already touched my belly - yikes - that was a little too soon - I blame it on weird yoga retreat food. I mean who wouldn't have a pregnant looking belly after a steady diet of beet burgers, mung beans and quinoa?

I've only bought one pregnancy book - Bun in the Oven - all the other ones have too much scary shit - fearmongering is good business.

I am standing on my head and doing shoulder stand pretty much every day and will do most yoga except for abdominal work and twisty poses.

Barnes and Noble IS stupider than Borders. I've always thought so and now I have proof. There are no other choices where I live which for a hypercritical literary fiend like myself is bad. The poor clerks there are regular victims of my snark. Anyhow, I always thought B+N was for the slightly more dimwitted. When I went to Borders to peruse pregnancy books they were right by health, and more specifically, women's health which is somewhere between diet, sex and relationships. Makes perfect sense. After 20 minutes in B+N looking in all those categories I found nothing but menopause and cancer. Something is missing from the larger spectrum of " women's health"! So I stuck out my gassy lentil belly and asked a person obligated to wear a tag around their neck. Turns out B+N keeps pregnancy books right next to... children's books! I said something snarky about them transforming me from a woman to a child but she didn't care. So down I had to go to the area with the small chairs and the stuffed animals and the pregnancy books.

When one is eight weeks pregnant one is a hell of a lot closer to SEX, RELATIONSHIPS and WOMENS HEALTH than one is to PARENTING and CHILDREN'S BOOKS.

Do the math. And no I didn't give them any money - What to Expect is too scary for me and the woman on the cover looks catatonic.

5 Comments:

At 7:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats on a low-symptom pregnancy! Sounds like you're doing well.

Those fucking What to Expect books. I just about lost it when they said that instead of sweets you could "indulge in" a fruit-juice sweetened muffin once a week! Oh joy! Sweet tooth: satisfied!

Having worked at Barnes & Noble, I can hereby verify that Borders is better.

 
At 11:45 PM, Blogger MC said...

Love the update, so happy everything is going well.
The cover of "What to expect when your expecting" is so daggy. It's enough to stop people buying it.

 
At 5:07 PM, Blogger Mellie said...

Glad to hear everything is going well. And I'm most impressed with your yoga-ing. Keep updating every now & then. I love the happy news.

 
At 11:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey there. I stopped checking for a while as you said you weren't going to write about pregnancy - I guess it's addictive! Good to see your news. Boy do I know how you feel about book location - I had the same experience at Waterstones in the UK. Not only are the pregnancy books in the childrens' section, so are the infertility books!!!

 
At 12:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

congrats. assvice alert: inversions are so great for you during early pregnancy. you can even do a little ab strengthening so long as the ab muscles aren't too shortened. as long as there's no strain, of course. you actually really want/need the abs to be strong for support as they stretch through the course of your pregnancy.
signed, yoga teacher dork.

 

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